When will it ever be enough?  This is the question I want us to consider today as we hear this famous story…and we all know the story very well.  When will it ever be enough?

At first reading the gospel here is pretty obvious.   The multiplication of the loaves and the fishes…it’s a foreshadowing of the Last Supper and of this…the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.  Just listen to what it says…bring them to me here and sit them down…and then taking the bread he looked up to heaven…said the blessing…broke the loaves…and distributed them to eat…they were all satisfied…After the meal they collected up the extra and saved it.  It’s amazing…2000 years later we’re doing basically the very same ting.  And there are other obvious messages in the story.  The number 7 for example…5 Loaves and 2 fish.  In biblical language the number 7 is a perfect number…a complete number…7 days makes one complete week in which God created the complete universe…the 7^th day is the Sabbath day…the Perfect Day.  There were 7 candles on the lampstand in the Temple of Jerusalem which for the Jews was the most perfect place on earth…and now in the New Covenant God gives Himself to us in 7 Sacraments.  Those perfect moments in time where all of time and space comes into a oneness in our very midst.  The bread and fish in our story…expressing this perfect notion of the number 7…tells us that this meal was more than a meal…it was a perfect meal…it was supernatural…it served an immediate purpose…filling hungry stomachs…but also an eternal purpose…filling empty spirits.   And then the number 12…12 baskets left over.  Where else do we see the number 12 in Biblical history?  The 12 tribes of Israel…the original Chosen people who reach their full theological meaning in the 12 Apostles chosen by Jesus himself who…after the death and resurrection…bring Salvation beyond that tiny stretch of land in the Middle East out to the entire world.  So, on the surface this story…the multiplication of the loaves and fishes…is loaded with code words that help us to come a fuller understanding of Jesus’ revelation.

But there’ one line of the story that I went back to over and over this week…one line…a line that I think tells us more about ourselves and the Eucharist than we realize.  It’s the line where the nameless Apostle says, “Five loaves and two fish are all we have here!”  This line is where we enter the story.  It’s the line that begs the question…When will it ever be enough? This question doesn’t always find its way into scripture commentaries and Sunday homilies about the loaves and fishes because it lies just beneath the main part of the story.  These poor Disciples…privileged to be eye witnesses of Jesus’ ministry and yet incapable of realizing what they were seeing and what they were experiencing.  You could almost imagine the conversations on that grassy hillside that day on the Sea of Galilee.  Peter…are you kidding me…there’s just no way…this will never be enough…John what do you want me to do…he told me to have them all sit down to eat…five loaves and two fish…it’s impossible…it won’t possibly be enough.  Andrew…I think he’s lost his mind…how will we ever take care of all these people with so little…it will never work. 

Sounds familiar…doesn’t it.  I want us each to think about our own lives.  When will it ever be enough?  We’re the Disciples in the story.  We follow the Lord obediently…we listen to him intently…we work with and for him tirelessly…and most importantly we believe in him and love him earnestly.  And yet…day after day we live out lives in quiet desperation wondering if all of this is going to be enough to satisfy us.  It’s why we eat the fifth piece of chocolate cake…it’s why I buy the black pair of shoes bringing my black shoe collecton in the closet to 6 pairs instead of 5…it’s why we buy the CD that we think we need so desperately only to listen to it a couple of times before it falls underneath the passenger seat never to be heard from again. It’s just part of our human condition. We collect things…we gather clothing…store up food…hold on tight to our money…inventory our achievements…catalogue our experiences…list our victories…because in this life we are forever tormented with the fear of…will this ever be enough?

It’s so ironic.  We live in the most bountiful…most productive…most abundant period in history and yet remain shackled by…will this ever be enough?  Why do we need so much in our closets and our pantries and our wallets?  Fear…we need these things because of fear.  When we are afraid that there will not be enough…we end up grabbing as much as we can…taking more than we need…which actually ends up snowballing out of control and perpetuating an even greater fear of not having enough.  It sounds weird…but when we have a lot…we actually fear having little.

There’s a wonderful story of a woman named Susan.  She had recently become a widow with two small children.  Because of this she was forced to move into a tiny apartment and began to worry about the future…how she would provide for her family.  “I was so scared,” she said.  “I went out and, with almost all of my savings, went to the meat market and bought half a cow, had it butchered, and froze it in my freezer.  I had never been on my own…she continued…and I was terrified that we wouldn’t have enough to eat.  I thought that having an abundance of food would make me feel safe.  But actually it didn’t…all that food in the freezer just reminded me even more of just how scared I was of going hungry.  Every time I opened the door I was reminded of my anxieties.”

Susan makes an important distinction of our human condition…desire for abundance cultivates our fear of scarcity.  I’ll say it again…desire for abundance actually cultivates our fear of scarcity.  And so the answer lies not in reaching abundance but rather in reaching sufficiency.  We shouldn’t want more than we need…we should just want what we need.  That’ssufficiency…when what we haveis enough.  It’s a long road to get there.  It takes maturity and humility.  And that’s ultimately why we’re here today…that’s why Jesus multiplied what seemed insufficient and fed the 5000 with leftovers for all of us…which by the way is the beginning of a mature understanding of the Eucharist.  What we eat here today is what was left over in those 12 baskets that day back in Galilee.  And it’s always enough.  Think about…if the Eucharist was just food…we would never survive…it would never be enough…it’s a half ounce wafer and a little sip of wine.  But we know that Eucharist is much more than just food. 

I’ve heard it said that the most primal…most fundamental ritual in the human experience is physical embrace…physical contact.  It says and does what words cannot.  I think Jesus knew this.  He knew that without his physical embrace of these 5000 people…his ministry would simply be a monologue rather than a dialogue.  So much of his ministry was words…words of God’s love and consolation…words of challenge…words of strength.  And these words had power.  But at some point…the words could only carry the Word so far.  Something more was needed.  So, he sits us down…prays over the bread…he breaks it and gives it to us.  No words…just physical embrace with natural and supernatural food.   A ritual within which every word ever spoken finds meaning.  Will it ever be enough?  Yes…because this physical embrace is more than food…more than religious obligation…it’s coming into contact…an encounter…you and me…with Jesus who is God…the Word through which all that is was created.  If that’s true…and it is…well then this is the most we could ever desire!  If this is true…and it is…then definitely it’s enough to fill us.